Just for Parents Letter
Just for Parents
Dear Parents,
Welcome to the portion of our website dedicated to you! While I do not have children of my own yet, I do know your children because I’ve spent more than 8 years with the children of Discovery. Part of what holds me back from being a parent is my understanding and anticipation of the huge responsibility of this role. I know parenting can be both challenging and rewarding, and I thank you and cheer you on as you continue the great adventure of parenthood!
As the Children’s Ministry Director of Discovery Christian Church it is my goal to provide you with as many parenting tools as possible and to support you in your very big role as a parent, and now that we’ve acknowledged just how big your job as a parent is, please allow me to share some very compelling research with you which has lit a fire under me when it comes to being supportive of parents.
A well-known researcher by the name of George Barna spent some significant time researching how people develop their morals and spiritual beliefs. Mr. Barna started his company the Barna Research Group more than 20 years ago to observe and research the spiritual trends of the church in America for the purpose of working with ministries to facilitate genuine life transformation. He is known for his thorough research and reporting what he finds, not what others want him to find. In 2003 Mr. Barna started publishing his discoveries about how and when people develop their morals and spiritual beliefs with his book Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions. Here are just a few of his findings and conclusions:
- “...by the age of 13, your spiritual identity is largely set in place.” (p. 34, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions)
- “...only 3 percent of the nation’s 13-year-olds have a biblical worldview, which serves as the foundation for their decision making.” (p. 37, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions)
- “The rule of thumb we have arrived at is that parents are well advised to maximize their influence while the child is young.” (p. 58, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions)
- “...if you are a parent, you have a great degree of influence on a child, and such influence must be used strategically…” (p. 60, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions)
- “What do kids need? In essence, everything they need emanates from their worldview, so our challenge is to enable them to develop a biblical worldview, which is a means of interpreting and responding to reality that is consistent with God’s ways as described for us in the Bible.” (p. 60, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions)
This selection of quotes is only a very small portion of what Mr. Barna has examined and concluded, but it is the core of his conclusions. As I thought over what he had to report I started to do the math. As a director of a children’s ministry, I have approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes with any given child on a weekly basis, and that is only true if the child shows up on time for the start of a service, and if he or she attends Sunday school every week. And then I started thinking about all the time they spend watching TV, learning from their teachers (some Christian and many not Christian), and being influenced by their friends (again, some Christian and many not Christian). How can I compete with the other influences in their lives with only 70 minutes a week when children are influenced by many other people, some Christian and many not Christian, for 10,010 minutes each week? That equation really disturbed me! Clearly I do not have enough time with the children to be able to reasonably expect to make a life-shaping impression on them! But as a parent you have many more minutes with your child each week. It has to be you! You as the parent must be the spiritual leader of your child! The church is here to help! I am here to help!
While I may not be able to speak from personal experience when it comes to parenting, I do hold a BA in Christian Studies from California Baptist University, over 12 years worth of in-depth Bible study knowledge, experience and training, and over 8 years of experience in Children’s Ministry, including wrestling with all the questions about how to help kids truly understand what it means to be a Christian and how to have a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.
I may have some knowledge and understanding of the Bible that you don’t have, and maybe you know just as much as I do, but I know for sure that you as a parent have both more time and more influence on your child than I do. And so, knowing that it is crucial to introduce our children to God, His Son Jesus, and the Christian life by the age of 13, and having done the math, I have committed to supporting you as a parent by sharing my knowledge and experience, and by equipping parents to lead and teach their children the spiritual truths of Christianity by providing as many practical tools and opportunities as I possibly can.
So let’s start right now. Here are a few basics you can implement today!
- Set up a time to read a few verses with your whole household every day. Have each family member take a turn reading a verse or reading that day’s selection.
- Get caught reading your Bible on your own.
- Talk with your kids about what you’ve read, either together or on your own.
- Use the parent pages we send home with your child every week. Ask them what they learned in Sunday school. Help them practice what they learned. The parent pages have ideas on how to do both of these.
- Pray with your whole household every day. Write down the prayer requests in a journal and keep track of how and when God answers your prayers.
- Be committed to attending church every week. Kids are sharp. They know what is a true priority and what isn’t as important to you.
- Serve together as a family on a weekly basis. Observe all the different volunteers you see on a Sunday morning. Could your whole family, including the kids, do that job together? Call me (924-5002). There’s many more family service opportunities than you think!
- Love your spouse with your words and your actions! Remember, those kids are sharp.
- Just pick one of these to start with. When you feel like you and your family have a good grasp of the first pick, pick a second one to add. And keep adding!
Finally I say to you, parents: use me! Check out the resources I’ve posted on this website, and check back often for new tools. Call me. Pick my brain. Share with me what you are doing with your family. I am here to support you and be a resource to you as you “Train [your] child in the way he [or she] should go.” (Proverbs 22:6a)
Your church is right here with you! Go parents!
Tiffany Ruis